One of my most memorable creative writing assignments was given to me 2 years ago while I was in grad school. My professor asked, “If you were featured on an episode of Ted Talk, what would your speech be about? What would you say to inspire the people in your audience?”
My ted talk was scrambled, and I had no reason to share inspiration, because I didn’t feel inspired. Instead, I felt stressed, tired, grumpy, hungry and full of too much attitude (not the good kind). I was in the end of my grad career and I just wanted it to be over.
I’ve lived a little more life since that day, so I decided to revisit the assignment.
Welcome to my ZAKIAH Talk . . .
Last year, when I thought things were going just ok with my life, I asked for more. At the time I rarely asked for anything more than what I had, because I was exercising gratitude. But then, I realized that I wouldn’t get more if I didn’t ask for more. I could be grateful for the things that I currently had and still strive for more. So, I asked for:
· A better job
· More money
· Happiness
· Peace
· To be a better person
· To be a better lover
I asked for Growth.
I expected to get exactly what I asked for, so you can imagine my surprise when it started to rain. Not just any type of rain, but more like a hurricane. I had no job, no money, my 6-year relationship had just ended. I moved out of our brand-new house that I loved so much and was back at home with my mother. My whole life became one big, wet, soggy, sloppy misfortune. I felt like was driving without windshield wipers right in the midst of my storm. At one point I was open to the idea of speeding up, hoping to crash into something, anything. I became angry and full of resentment. Depression was my thunder - Rolling, rumbling and roaring all throughout my drenched skies. I kept thinking what did I do to get this storm handed to me? What the hell did I do?! I’m a good person. Good things should happen to me because I’m good, right? I give and I give and I give so much of myself. I rarely take even when I need help. I’m a good person.
But here’s the thing...you know how some fish will never outgrow the tank they’re in? Well, that’s how I started to look at my life. Perhaps I was stuck inside of a small tank and settling for a small lifestyle with a small love and small aspirations. Yes, I was comfortable, but when I asked for growth my tank was shattered. There was no way for me to grow inside of my current environment. While I was on the floor gasping for air in the most dramatic fashion possible, an ocean was ( and still is) being prepared for me. I was sad and scared, and I missed my small tank terribly, because who knows what’s really out there in the ocean? What if the other fish hate me? Omg what if one of the big fish eat me? What if I die? What if? What if? What if?
Stop asking what if and just live. Life is going to happen anyway. Why question it? Sure, be afraid of what’s to come. That’s normal, but live through your fears. I told myself that I would never let comfortability and fear stunt my growth ever again.
You can try to speed up or you can try to slow down, but life moves at the pace that it feels is most appropriate for your journey. Resisting will only prolong the lesson. Let go and learn what it’s all about.
Moral of the story: when you ask for growth you better be good and ready for the storm, because what’s meant for you may not come as easily as what isn’t meant for you. Welcome the rain when it comes, because that’s the only way you’ll get your flowers.
Remember that Perspective is everything. Change the way you’re looking at your world. Embrace all of the lemons that life is launching at you. Breathe. Relax. Let everything flow the way it pleases. Understand that these things are happening, because it’s time to grow.
So grow, baby. Grow.
Believe that you will always win.
Thank you for coming to my Monday night ZAKIAH Talk.